When I arrived in 1969 foreigners were really rare. Sometimes a total stranger foreigner on the street or train platform would greet and I would greet in return. In my Denenchofu neighborhood, as far as I knew, we were the only foreign family. Sometimes the mailman would leave a letter addressed to a foreigner I did not know in the mailbox. After this happened a number of times, one day I caught the mailman as he approached the house to put the mail into the box and asked him why he sometimes left other foreigners' mail. He replied with a broad smile, "We at the Post Office figured that you as a foreigner living here for so long would know all other foreigners!"
Your story about the post office is amusing, and I can easily imagine that happening!
I too remember the days when you saw a foreigner, you would not only greet them -- but we would accost one another -- "What's your name? Do you speak English? Where are you from? Come to my house! Let's be friends!"
It interests me that you thrived in your small community (if it could be called that) for so long and then were ready to leave. You are an adaptable person, it seems.
Our Rachel has just relocated from Australia to Brazil. Not remotely remote, she and her Brazilian partner are setting up housekeeping (apartment-keeping) in São Paulo. But for her, the language barrier is formidable and it has introduced a kind of timidity unfamiliar to her. She'll find her way, I'm sure and will, like you, reap the rewards of assimilating into a new culture. I will admit that I hope she comes back to the U.S. at some point, but if she ends up there for the next five decades, I suppose I will adapt.
I always thought adapt was first on my list of the 'A's' of cross-cultural living: which included adjust and accept, and the importance of being attentive and aware. No doubt Rachel is flexible, and all of these characteristics will come to her aid as she settles into her new home. I can relate to the "language barrier" being "formidable" -- at first. But I've found language is just one of the means of communication. I'm with you, Rachel will find her way!
Such a nostalgic piece of writing, certainly for me. You’ve reminded me how much I miss being in Japan, speaking Japanese and seeing you and Billy more often. And sitting around that table for your yummy cooking! Thanks for this - it really brightened my day. 😘❤️🇯🇵
Dear dear Linda -- what a nice thought that I have "really brightened" your day. I'd move mountains to have you at our table again -- but hey, we may, be at your table in France again one of these days. Nostalgic -- that seems like a word I haven't used for a long time, and that might be that at this age, everything is nostalgic.
Every word you publish is just so good. I have felt similarly in raising my kids as a non-Japanese woman, but I can imagine all of this so much more acutely if it were outside of Tokyo, outside of the influx of foreigners HERE, even in the last 5 years. So much was different 15 years ago, let alone, decades. You have indeed earned the word, "seasoned", but also, "beautifully" or perhaps "heroically seasoned."
Melissa, your appreciation for my writing is appreciated!
I am sure we have had similar experiences as non-Japanese women/mothers -- though life in the 'inaka' comes with some very specific challenges one does not have to face in a cosmopolitan place like Tokyo.
Your words tell me that I did not 'overstep' in calling myself "seasoned" -- thank you.
Oh, I feel the pain so much too. We lived near some US Bases in Kanagawa for several years and after having a handful of friends move in quick succession my heart was too broken to try to make friends with new foreigners.
Nicole, thank you for your understanding, and sharing. Living near U.S. bases, I'm sure you had to say goodbye often. It is indeed a "pain" that is felt, deeply.
I admire how you first lived in the countryside and understand your need for the move. I always lived in Tokyo, which meant the only hardship was crowded trains and drunk salaried workers late at night.
Your memoir, Breast Pocket Mountain, is a gem.
Did you ever know Dennis Farrell in Hamamatsu? He was my best friend in Tokyo, had a breakdown, got married, and moved to Hamamatsu where his wife was from in the 1980s. I lost contact with him.
When I arrived in 1969 foreigners were really rare. Sometimes a total stranger foreigner on the street or train platform would greet and I would greet in return. In my Denenchofu neighborhood, as far as I knew, we were the only foreign family. Sometimes the mailman would leave a letter addressed to a foreigner I did not know in the mailbox. After this happened a number of times, one day I caught the mailman as he approached the house to put the mail into the box and asked him why he sometimes left other foreigners' mail. He replied with a broad smile, "We at the Post Office figured that you as a foreigner living here for so long would know all other foreigners!"
Your story about the post office is amusing, and I can easily imagine that happening!
I too remember the days when you saw a foreigner, you would not only greet them -- but we would accost one another -- "What's your name? Do you speak English? Where are you from? Come to my house! Let's be friends!"
It interests me that you thrived in your small community (if it could be called that) for so long and then were ready to leave. You are an adaptable person, it seems.
Our Rachel has just relocated from Australia to Brazil. Not remotely remote, she and her Brazilian partner are setting up housekeeping (apartment-keeping) in São Paulo. But for her, the language barrier is formidable and it has introduced a kind of timidity unfamiliar to her. She'll find her way, I'm sure and will, like you, reap the rewards of assimilating into a new culture. I will admit that I hope she comes back to the U.S. at some point, but if she ends up there for the next five decades, I suppose I will adapt.
I always thought adapt was first on my list of the 'A's' of cross-cultural living: which included adjust and accept, and the importance of being attentive and aware. No doubt Rachel is flexible, and all of these characteristics will come to her aid as she settles into her new home. I can relate to the "language barrier" being "formidable" -- at first. But I've found language is just one of the means of communication. I'm with you, Rachel will find her way!
Such a nostalgic piece of writing, certainly for me. You’ve reminded me how much I miss being in Japan, speaking Japanese and seeing you and Billy more often. And sitting around that table for your yummy cooking! Thanks for this - it really brightened my day. 😘❤️🇯🇵
Dear dear Linda -- what a nice thought that I have "really brightened" your day. I'd move mountains to have you at our table again -- but hey, we may, be at your table in France again one of these days. Nostalgic -- that seems like a word I haven't used for a long time, and that might be that at this age, everything is nostalgic.
Another delightful post that reveals wonderful details about your life's journey in Japan. Thank you!
Thanks so much, Jane. I feel I will never run out of "wonderful details" about my life journey -- in Japan, and other places too.
Every word you publish is just so good. I have felt similarly in raising my kids as a non-Japanese woman, but I can imagine all of this so much more acutely if it were outside of Tokyo, outside of the influx of foreigners HERE, even in the last 5 years. So much was different 15 years ago, let alone, decades. You have indeed earned the word, "seasoned", but also, "beautifully" or perhaps "heroically seasoned."
Melissa, your appreciation for my writing is appreciated!
I am sure we have had similar experiences as non-Japanese women/mothers -- though life in the 'inaka' comes with some very specific challenges one does not have to face in a cosmopolitan place like Tokyo.
Your words tell me that I did not 'overstep' in calling myself "seasoned" -- thank you.
Oh, I feel the pain so much too. We lived near some US Bases in Kanagawa for several years and after having a handful of friends move in quick succession my heart was too broken to try to make friends with new foreigners.
Nicole, thank you for your understanding, and sharing. Living near U.S. bases, I'm sure you had to say goodbye often. It is indeed a "pain" that is felt, deeply.
I admire how you first lived in the countryside and understand your need for the move. I always lived in Tokyo, which meant the only hardship was crowded trains and drunk salaried workers late at night.
Your memoir, Breast Pocket Mountain, is a gem.
Did you ever know Dennis Farrell in Hamamatsu? He was my best friend in Tokyo, had a breakdown, got married, and moved to Hamamatsu where his wife was from in the 1980s. I lost contact with him.
Bill, I thank you for reading my memoir, and I love that you call it a "gem".
No, I cannot say that I know or have met Dennis Farrell.
As for Tokyo, I only have a passing experience of the crowded trains -- maybe that's why I can say it's my favorite city in the entire world!